Journal Entries, Memoirs, and Other Things
by Saya Moonshadow
Summary: Pohatu managed to convince Kopaka to keep a journal, but it isn't quite what he and Onua expected. And what's this? They've stolen the rest of the Toa's journals! General mayhem and madness ensue! DISCONTINUED, DO NOT ASK FOR UPDATES.
1. Kopaka's Journal

**Decided to write another Bionicle story. It's a oneshot short story, but I might continue it if enough people ask me to.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bionicle...BUT I'M SAVING MY ALLOWANCE!**

**Journal Entry, Memoirs of the Icy One  
(aka, Kopaka Nuva)   
By: Saya Moonshadow...NO WAI.**

_This Journal belongs to Kopaka Nuva, Toa of Ice on Metru Nui._

_Dear , (I'm not naming my journal, idiots. I REFUSE.)_

_Entry No. 1_

_I don't know how those idiots convinced me to do this, but they did. Pohatu, what the hell are you trying to accomplish? Dig deep into my mind and figure out my innermost workings, or some other philosophical crap? Honestly, what do you THINK is in my head? It's called a brain, moron, which you obviously lack._

_So what did I do today? Well, let's see. First, I woke up at around...oh, say, THREE AM because SOMEONE (heavy emphasis for you there, Lewa), decided to wake me up and let me know in the most eloquent way possible that a stick is brown and STICKY._

_Well, whaddaya know! The idiot has a brain after all! Shocking, isn't it._

_Then, at around 8 or so, I had to suffer as the rest of you moronic teammates of mine played Pictionary, and then watch as Gali throttled Tahu for saying that her drawing of a watermelon was, in fact, Christmas cheese._

_OK, stop. Watermelon. Cheese? Cheese does not have seeds OR a hard green shell covering it! Idiot...and people say that _I _have issues?_

_It's like the time Pohatu revealed to me that he once ate a WHOLE Ghekula frog. And not even on a dare. I dunno if he was drunk or not. I hope so, cuz if he really did eat the frog, this friendship is OVER._

_Disgusting...frogs...ew._

_You wanna know about me? OK, I have a secret for you._

_Ready?_

_I like the color gray._

_Make sense of that._

X x X

Pohatu looked up from the journal angrily. "CAN'T ANYONE TAKE A JOKE AROUND HERE?!"

"Apparently not," Onua chortled. "Keep reading!"

The Toa of Stone grumbled, but complied.

X x X

_Or how about Makuta. His favorite phrase, if I remember correctly, was something along the lines of, "DOOM, DESTRUCTION, AND...MORE DOOM!" :_

_-insert gagging noises here-_

_So you can clearly see, my friends, my life is horrible._

_AND YOU MAKE IT WORSE._

X x X

Pohatu and Onua leaned over the rock the journal was sitting on, both gasping for breath as they laughed. By now, the Stone Toa had completely forgotten the frog incident. This was too much.

Who knew the icy Toa would actually go through with their suggestion?

"Read the next one!" Onua laughed, barely able to speak.

Pohatu, laughing fit to burst himself, picked up the book again with much difficulty and commenced the read the next journal entry.

X x X

_Entry No. 2_

_Today was even more of a drag than yesterday. One of Lewa's precious Gukko birds died due to pecking down the wooden cupboard at the Kini that held Tahu's stupid collection of knives...it was a very bloody, but strangely amusing death. Gali made Gukko stew, and Lewa didn't even notice...dumbass._

_Of course, Lewa's going to find out sooner or later...probably by tomorrow, when he counts those ridiculous birds of his and notices that Seki or whatever the heck the thing's name was is MIA. In that case, I - kinda - feel bad for Tahu._

_Heavy emphasis on the "kinda"._

_We won't even mention Takanuva. The guy wears a lamp on his face. And carries around a giant Kolhii stick. Intentionally. This family has issues._

X x X

Onua looked surprised. "Did Gali really make stew out of the dead Gukko?" He blinked.

His companion nodded. "Yep. It actually tasted pretty good...considering it was a mutilated animal..." He cleared his throat. "Next entry."

X x X

_Entry No. 3_

_Pohatu, you owe me twenty widgets. Lewa DID find out, and proceeded to declare war on Tahu the likes of which you have never seen._

_And by that I mean a full-out, messy, crud-all-over-the-place food fight._

_By the time I'd managed to make a safe escape to the nearby rocks, both Tahu and Lewa were completely covered in fruit extracts._

_Disgusting._

_So, Gali decided, since Tahu and Lewa can't get along, and they eat each other's loved ones, they're going to be taught manners. It's going to be fun what they'll learn...from a girl, right? She's covered in crap as well, funny stuff right there...although I do kinda feel bad for Tahu and Lewa._

_Lewa tried to get out of it, telling her that she "puts the neato in incogNITO!" or some other lame pick-up line. She just made him wear an even foofier dress than originally planned. It made me SICK just looking at it. Foofs and frills and bows EVERYWHERE (maybe you should offer to be their fashion consultant, Takanuva)._

_I then had to convince her not to kill them, as doing so would only reduce the idiot population. And we don't want that, now do we?_

_Of course, Pohatu could probably get them out of it. After all, he's POHATU NUVA! FASTER THAN A MUAKA, AND BLINDER THAN A BAT, HE CAN SMELL FRIED HUSI A MIO AWAY!_

_No really, he can. It's downright FREAKY._

_And when I told Onewa he was an old has-been, Pohatu told me, "HEY! You don't get to insult this old has-been, only _I _have the right to do that!"_

_Nice to know you care, Pohatu._

X x X

The Toa of Stone snapped his fingers.

"What?" Onua asked, looking at him.

Pohatu sighed. "I really DO owe him twenty widgets...damn."

X x X

_Entry No. 4_

_I became aware today that barely anyone on this island knows how to spell my name._

_The sole exceptions being myself, Gali, Takanuva, and the Turaga._

_Now, not being able to spell a Toa's name is unheard of._

_The common spelling, I have found, is K-A-P-O-K-A._

_As in, "Kapoka"._

_Can you imagine that? Kopaka to Kapoka._

_I suspect Tahu has had a hand in this, AND I KNOW HE HAS!_

X x X

Onua burst out laughing again. "Tahu actually went through with it?!"

"Looks like it!"

X x X

_Entry No. 5 (I have to come up with a better name for these things)_

_I asked Gali what she looks for in a guy, and she told me vital organs._

_Like, if she were to look inside me, I better have my liver._

_I can't tell if she was being sarcastic or if she was serious._

X x X

Several small Rahi scampered away or took flight at the raucous laughter that permeated the clearing. A small lizard was nearly crushed by Pohatu's big feet as the Stone Toa beat the ground with them, laughing so hard tears came from his eyes.

"Oh...my...GOD!" he cried, gasping for breath. "I can't believe she told him that!"

"It's all part of her scheme," Onua grinned, getting up from the ground. "To make Tahu and Kopaka stop fighting over her so much. I didn't think she'd go THAT far though!"

"Next entry!" Pohatu grabbed up the journal once more.

X x X

_Memoirs Numero FIVE! (no, that sounds retarded...uhhh...)_

_So I was at Ga-Metru today, helping Tahu and Gali with some construction work, and I had just finished lifting this huge protodermis beam by myself, when I hear them both laughing._

_When inquired as to what the hell they were doing, Tahu held up a book and said, "Reading about ancient symbols!"_

_On the cover of the book was a picture of Toa Vakama in an "actiony" pose. The title was, "THE LIFE AND TIMES OF TOA VAKAMA"._

_I told them it was clearly NOT about ancient symbols, and Tahu laughed and said, "It is! It's about symbols, look! -opens book to page with picture of Toa Vakama on it hanging upside down from a Morbuzakh vine- See, this picture here, it means 'H'!"_

_I've never been so freaked out in my life._

_My so-called "rival" then proceeded to ask me if I was Ko-Matoran or Ko-Metruan. They're the same thing, dumbass._

_Sometimes, I wonder if Mata Nui's against me. In the traditional emo, "Mata Nui? Mata Nui why? Why me? Why is this happening? What is my purpose? Who am I? Where do I come from? Who stole my wallet? -falls through pothole- Why me?" sense._

X x X

Pohatu's left eye twitched. "They made a book about Turaga Vakama? Does he know about this?"

Onua shook his head. "Probably not. From what I gather, that book was made by a bunch of his fangirls from when he was still a Toa...back before everyone lost their memories, that is." He then scowled. "And why does he keep mentioning YOU? What about ME?!"

Pohatu smirked. "I'm the one who convinced him to do it, and I'm the one who gets to be mentioned. Although he seems to be rather obsessed about what Tahu and Gali are doing. Kinda creepy."

Onua grumbled. "Next."

X x X

_My...Stuff? (aggghhh!)_

_Psh. I'm not even wearing pants, don't look at this book that way you sickos, I'm about to go to sleep. Oh Mata Nui, you know what bothered me? In Kolhii Fear (which was a horrible movie by the way) Hewkii slept with a shirt and socks on, I hate it when people sleep in their underwear with their socks on! It BUGS ME!_

X x X

"He's officially lost it."

"Indeed."

X x X

_DEAR DIARY-THING:_

_A very drugged up Lewa has just told me that if I be his moose, he'll be my "hwaa!"._

_Why am I stuck on the team with all the idiots? Toa Nokama was (dare I say this) pretty hot, and she was actually not an idiot! Not to say that Gali is, but the only idiot on the Toa Metru was Matau!_

_I just realized something._

_You know Makuta's OTHER favorite saying?: "We both know there are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."_

_So what do the other 59 of them do? Tickle?_

X x X

The Toa of Earth blinked. "Ya know...he has a point. If 941 of those 1000 ways hurt, what DO the other 59 of them do?"

Pohatu shrugged. "Who knows, dude? Who knows?"

They both grinned. "NEXT!"

X x X

_Hardee-har-har. (I've lost count of which one this is.)_

_When Tahu challenged me to a duel today, Lewa bounced up off his seat and declared that this show of manliness had inspired him and he was hereby challenging Onua to a duel._

Onua gasped. "I'M IN THE STORY!"

_He did so with a dramatic finger point that would have done a Le-Matoran actor proud, and Onua responded with a swift punch to the jaw. Thus did the challenge end._

_Unfortunately, my laughing at said scene gave Tahu the initiative to set my rear on fire. Since Gali was dead asleep, I had to put it out myself. Now my butt's all black and it HURTS when I sit._

_Thanks so much, Onua._

X x X

Onua snorted. "Not my fault he was too stupid to not pay attention!"

Pohatu grinned, chortling. "Wish I coulda been there to see that. Those sand Tarakava were getting outta hand though."

X x X

_I'm not even going to bother with the greeting._

_Tahu decided I was a racist today because I froze part of the Great Furnace trying to get a Hikaki dragon out of it. I was sweating, I was dying of heat stroke, and I saved his worthless life, but now I'm a racist._

_The fact I froze a Ta-area does NOT make me a racist! Like Nokama! Just because she wrote a book about the evil forces of the planet doesn't mean she's a Rahkshi!_

_THIS IS DISCRIMINATION AGAINST ICE TOA, DAMMIT!_

_At least I'm not capable of setting a beaker of WATER on FIRE, like Dr. Destructo over there._

X x X

"Tahu set a beaker of water on fire?"

"Don't ask."

X x X

_Whacha gonna do, oh whacha gonna do when I know kung fu, bad boys bad boys. Whacha gonna do, oh whacha gonna do when I name you Stu, bad boys bad boys..._

_I see that this is the new chant of our "dear friend" Lewa Nuva. He sang this to me today, for no apparent reason at all. Someone slap him._

X x X

"..."

"Totally."

X x X

_Why is it every time I try to give a compliment, I end up getting slapped?_

_Take this afternoon for example._

_Gali came up and told me she was skin and bones._

_I poked her in the stomach to prove this._

_And ended up on my rear end, a nice red hand-shaped welt on my face._

_Woe is me._

_No seriously._

_Holy...MATA NUI, who made this dinner? This crap tastes like crap!_

_Wow. That made sense._

X x X

"He didn't!" Pohatu rolled over on his back, clutching his sides and laughing.

Onua smirked. "He did. I was there. Funniest thing I've ever seen, and I cannot lie. Guess she thought he was trying to prove her wrong." He nudged the journal. "There's only one entry left, so we need to return this later."

Pohatu pouted, but complied. "OK."

X x X

_Almost won a bet with Tahu last night. He bet me 50 widgets that the ugly one in the green Mahiki at the Ko-Metru ball thing was Nuju._

_Upon closer observation, it was revealed to be Lewa._

_Too bad we didn't shake hands on it._

_Too bad, my scorched butt! That moron owes me, and he knows it! He's the one who proposed that stupid bet in the first place, and then doesn't go through with it! Giving me that little "Oh, too bad we didn't shake hands on it!" line and then running off faster than Pohatu on caffeine and kidnapping Gali off to the dance floor._

_And all I did was prove his theory incorrect._

_It was obviously Lewa._

_Lewa is six feet tall, and is GREEN._

_Nuju is somewhere around three feet tall, and is WHITE._

_Mistaking Nuju for Lewa is like spelling "stupid" wrong._

_BECAUSE I AM KAPOKA NUVA, GREAT TOA OF ICE!_

_Who once again upset the wrong person, who shall remain unnamed -coughGALIcough- and now has a nice brown swamp water stain on his pretty white armor. I didn't even have time to get clean before the dance started. Imagine those headlines tomorrow._

"_The great and almighty Kopaka, EXCUSE ME, KAPOKA Nuva, comes to island-wide ball with questionable brown substance dribbled all down his front."_

_Argh._

X x X

Both Toa laughed once again, harder than ever.

"So that's what it was!" Pohatu cried, clutching his sides again. "I was wondering what it was!"

Onua was doubled over, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. When he had finally composed himself, he looked up with an evil grin.

"I know that look." Pohatu said. "That's your 'I-have-a-plan-and-you're-gonna-help-me-with-it look."

The Toa of Earth's grin was decidedly evil.

"We should steal the rest of the teams' journals."

The look on Pohatu's face was something akin to a Rahkshi about to physically maim something.

"Tahu first."

X x X

**AN: OK, done! Not very good, but I'm not looking to win here, I just wanna bring more freaking humor to this section! It's ANGST and ACTION/ADVENTURE all over the place! By the way, it's past midnight, and my new lava lamp is very interesting, as well as the fact that I'm about to pass out, so I SHALL POST THIS ON THE MORROW WHEN THE INTERNET TURNS BACK ON! -strikes sailor-moon-ish pose-**

**Should I continue or not?**


	2. Tahu's Journal

**LOL. Well, all who reviewed said they wanted it to continue, so here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I STILL don't own squat...nor will I EVER own squat...**

**Journal Entries, Memoirs of the Fiery One  
(aka Tahu)**

_That was so not fair. Not fair at ALL._

_We played MASH today, and my future life was that I was going to have .1 billion kids with Onua. I would ride an Ussanui, live in Ko-Metru, make an average of 20 widgets a year, and my job would be a foot-washer. One of my children would just be a little toe (hence the .1 part). Those bastards!_

_I mean, it's bad enough that they challenge my leadership and call me Dr. Destructo, but now they mock my future!_

_And why was ONUA, of all people, down in the suggestions of who I was gonna marry? The other three were Gali (haha...), Toa Nokama (LOL), or, dare I say it, a Rahkshi. I would rather make out with that Rahkshi than marry Onua!_

X x X

"Now that wasn't very nice."

"Eh, he has a point. You're ugly as hell, dude."

BZZZZZZ.

"You wanna say that again?"

"Eh...not really."

X x X

_Today actually kinda went well! I fried a couple Rahi, and Gali was there to see me do it. But so was Kopaka, and of course the little bastard just HAD to make some sarcastic comment about my skills._

_I'll set his ass on fire next time I get the chance._

X x X

"Persistent, isn't he?"

"Yeah dude, he's been waiting for a chance to char-broil Kopaka ever since they met."

"Hm. I wonder if Kopaka knows this?"

"Oh he does. There's no way he could NOT know it."

"How so?"

"Tahu tells him at LEAST three times a day."

"Oh."

X x X

_Turaga Vakama made me sit down today and discuss the fact that Le-Metru's not turning out as much food as it should to trade for other supplies and crap like that. As if it's my problem. He should discuss it with Matau or somebody, unless he wants me to go over there and fry a couple butts, that is._

_I managed to get away after about an hour, but then he stopped me and asked if I knew why all the newspapers were spelling Kopaka's name as "Kapoka". I said I had no clue and left._

_Serves that icy bastard right, calling me full of hot air and all this other nasty stuff that I'm not gonna say. I have other names for him too, none of which I can repeat in polite company._

_Too bad none of the company I keep is all that polite. Heheh._

X x X

"So it WAS him!" Pohatu exclaimed, setting the bright red journal down with an incredulous grin.

Onua laughed. "Of course. Why would it NOT be him?"

"Good point."

X x X

_Some people just don't appreciate what I do for them._

_Like Gali._

_I've saved her ass like eight times, right? Well make it nine cuz I did it again today!_

_She didn't even thank me for saving her from that stupid sand Tarakava, only screamed at me to be careful with my Kakama and not hit any of the weird little sand structures the Rahi had built out there._

_Well, her exact words were, "CAREFUL TAHU, YOU ALMOST MISSED ONE!"_

_Bitch._

_I am angry. Don't you yahoos care?!_

_Well they can't, cuz no one's read this. So...yeah._

X x X

"His aim is terrible with the Kakama. I think it goes faster than his poor brain can handle."

"Heh, yeah."

X x X

_You know, it's a good thing that no one else is going to read this, cuz I'm about to spew some personal shit here._

Pohatu grinned guiltily. "Whoops."

Onua rolled his eyes. "Get on with it!"

_OK, so you know how I called Gali a bitch in my last entry-thing? Well, I didn't mean it. Really, I didn't._

_Don't laugh, but I actually think she's very...pretty._

_Argh. I need to go kill a Rahi now. Later._

X x X

"Did he just...?"

"I think he did."

They looked at one another.

"Someone has a crush."

X x X

_I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really hate bottle caps!_

_I was drinking some juice out of a bottle, you know? And well the cap said something like "WARNING: CAP MAY POP OFF AND HIT YOUR HEAD IF UNDER PRESSURE."_

_Well, I wasn't scared at ALL, so I said, "Bah, no way," and pried it off._

_Damn cap nailed me in the forehead!_

_Stupid bottle cap..._

X x X

Both Toa sweatdropped heavily.

"I have honestly never been capable of that. What about you?" Onua asked.

Pohatu shook his head. "Same here. It takes a real idiot, it seems."

X x X

_Lewa's gonna kill me, but that's where the fun comes in, right? One of his Gukkos pecked down the door to the cabinet that has my blade collection in it, and managed to impale itself! It was so funny! Well, maybe it wasn't THAT funny, but ya gotta admit, when a bird dies because it pecked down a door and stabbed itself with my knives, that's pretty amusing._

_Then Gali made Gukko stew! Looks like we're both gonna die. That idiot Lewa didn't even notice, heh. But the stew was actually really good. Gali's as good a cook as she is pretty, and she is VERY pretty._

_I better prepare for when Lewa DOES find out, though. Heh._

_The only problem was that I'd JUST cleaned them! NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN! STUPID BIRD!_

X x X

Pohatu laughed. "This is starting to sound familiar!"

His companion grinned. "Indeed. Wonder what Tahu did in response to Lewa throwing the fruit at him? Kopaka said he was too busy hiding to see, but..."

X x X

_Remind me to kill everything on this island that is green!_

_Lewa got back at me by waging a food war on me. I'M COVERED IN PLANT EXTRACTS, AND WHAT'S WORSE, GALI PUNISHED US BY MAKING US WEAR THESE STUPID DRESSES!_

_Lewa's stupid neato incognito pick up line didn't work, so HA! His dress had more bows and crap than mine did._

_We're still alive thanks to Kopaka. Amazingly, he convinced her not to kill us, because doing so would only "decrease the idiot population". Bastard._

X x X

_I caught Lewa rigging a bag of coconuts to the entrance to Onu-Koro today. What's worse is that Onua was with me. Lewa then tried to explain his way out, but Onua wasn't buying it._

_Banana, banana, banana, terra cotta, terra cotta pie!_

_That said, Lewa didn't get in this mess for lying. He got in this mess for lying BADLY._

X x X

Onua groaned. "He just HAD to remind me, didn't he? I don't think I've ever been so annoyed with him."

X x X

_Heh, Kopaka (Kapoka) is so much fun to annoy._

_Me, him, and Gali were doing construction work in Ga-Metru, and Gali took out this book and asked me if I knew my Turaga had stalkers. I said no, and we started going though it and laughing. "The Life and Times of Toa Vakama" was the title._

_So Kopaka noticed us laughing, and asked what we were doing and the only thing I could think of to say was that we were reading a book about ancient symbols. The picture with Turaga Vakama hanging upside down means "H", by the way._

_Haha, Ko-Matoran, Ko-Metruan? Why bother having both names? THEY'RE MATORAN EITHER WAY!_

X x X

Pohatu laughed. "Tahu's account! Is it just me, or is he worried about looking like a fool in front of Gali and Kopaka?"

Onua shrugged. "Dunno. You would know though, seeing as how you look like one all the time."

BAM.

"OW!"

"Shut up."

"MMmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaawwww!"

Rough translation: "OW! MY MOUTH! YOU BROKE MY MOUTH!"

"Well you shouldn't have said that then!"

"Mmmmpph."

Onua-translatinator-device: "I hate you."

X x X

_We saw Kolhii Fear a couple hours ago. Very strange movie, but I liked it. I don't think Kopaka did though, haha. Gali seemed to though, and she even thanked me for taking her to see it! Kopaka just kinda tagged along...gah._

X x X

Pohatu looked slightly hurt. "It was NOT a bad movie! Hewkii did a GREAT job on his role in it!"

Onua rolled his eyes. "Mmmmmrrppphhhhaaa."

Onua-translatinator-device: "You're just jealous that _Miner's Folly_ got better reviews."

"I thought I shut you up."

"Phhhwaaa."

Onua-translatinator-device: "I'm rechargeable."

X x X

_I got Kopaka so bad today for ruining the movie yesterday! HAAAAA!_

_I challenged him to a duel._

_Lewa said our manliness had inspired him so he challenged Onua and Onua punched him in the jaw. Which ended their duel._

_While Kopaka was busy laughing at them, I set his butt on fire! And Gali was asleep, so he had to put it out himself! NOW IT'S ALL BLACK!_

_Ahhh revenge is SWEET, I tell you._

X x X

"How come YOU'RE in the story more now?!" Pohatu demanded. "NOT FAIR!"

Onua laughed as best he could. "Mahahaha!"

X x X

_THAT BASTARD! HE FROZE PART OF THE GREAT FURNACE!_

_Save my life, my ASS! DISCRIMINATION! DISCRIMINATION AGAINST THE FIRE REGIONS, THAT'S ALL IT WAS! Hikaki dragons can survive in lava, EVERYONE knows that! Now I have to thaw out the Furnace. GAH._

X x X

Pohatu grinned at Onua. "The lack of your commentary is quite nice, my friend."

Onua growled, but it ended up sounding more like a gurgle than anything threatening.

X x X

_I'm so glad I didn't go through with that bet last night. I would've totally lost it. See, I bet Kopaka that the ugly one in the green Mahiki was Nuju, just to rile him up, right? And also cuz I really DID think it was Nuju._

_Turns out it was Lewa._

_Well can I be blamed for thinking it was Lewa?! HE WAS SQUATTING, FOR MATA NUI'S SAKE!_

_Heheh, too bad we didn't shake hands on it, Kapoka!_

X x X

Both Toa laughed, Pohatu loudly, Onua not so loudly, due to his injured mouth from Pohatu's nice side kick.

"Dude, we totally have to do this again tomorrow!" Pohatu yelled, clapping Onua on the back. "Your mouth should be working again by then, so you'll be back to normal and commenting again! But insult that movie again and you'll be sorry. Haha, just kidding, buddy!"

Onua glared dryly at him. "Mwwwaappphhhaaa."

Onua-translatinator-device: "I REALLY hate you."

The Stone Toa

X x X

**AN: Hey man, look at me rocking out! I'M ON THE RADIO! LOL, not really. Anyway, that was the second chapter! Haha, hope it was to your liking.**

**My brother just came in and announced to the history teacher that he "molested that biology test like a Catholic priest". Wow. Zanda Waffle 07, you are SOMETHING ELSE.**

**Reviews?**


	3. Stolen Memoirs, Tahu's Pissed

**Stolen Memoirs, Tahu's Pissed**

The Toa of Fire was not in a good mood. First off, he had almost lost twenty widgets three days before. Second, he was soaking wet from a recent tangle on the beach with an irate Kane-Ra.

And third - which happened to be the worst - his journal was missing.

He thought he knew who took it. Really he did. No one knew his super secret, ultimately genius hiding spot. Under the bed. Honestly, who would think to look there? It was so obvious, it wasn't even worth looking there.

But apparently someone had, as it was missing in action.

And Tahu REALLY needed to vent.

Stomping into the hut of one of his now six teammates, he grabbed Lewa Nuva by the ear and dragged the loudly yelling Air Toa up off his rear end.

"Where is it?" he growled, brandishing a blade in Lewa's face. Lewa looked up at him, confused and in pain. "What are you speak-talkin' about, fire-spitter?" he asked.

Tahu shook him, hard. "YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! WHERE. IS. MY. _JOURNAL_?!"

Lewa shrugged as best he could without damaging himself further. "How should I know?" he yelped as Tahu gave him a particularly hard shake and pulled his poor ear even harder.

His leader dropped him and glared. Lewa cringed. "That had BETTER be true," Tahu snapped, "cuz if it's not and I find out that you DO have it, you will DIE."

And with that, the irate Fire Toa turned around and stomped out in search of his precious journal.

Lewa took the time to scratch his head curiously.

"Tahu has a diary?"

X x X

Pohatu carefully slipped out of the Water Toa's hut, taking care not to wake the sleeping female up. She was a light sleeper, but apparently not light enough.

The Stone Toa grinned. This was way too much fun.

And way, way, WAY too easy.

In her hut, Gali slept on, completely unaware that she had just been robbed.

Pohatu crept away as fast as he possibly could.

Clutched in one hand was a dark blue notebook.

Onua poked his head out of the bushes and looked at his friend inquisitively. "Mimoumetmit?" he questioned. Pohatu nodded eagerly. "Yeah dude, I got it! Had to be careful though - it was sitting right on the bedside table. Which is like, half an inch from her bed."

The Earth Toa nodded, still apparently having a hard time speaking from the kick dealt to him the day before. "Moom, murryumameadit!"

Onua-translatinator-device: "Good, hurry up and read it!"

"Don't worry, I'm gettin' to it!" Pohatu snapped, picking the lock and opening it. He cleared his throat and began to read.

X x X

**AN: Just some silly little filler chapter, showing that not ALL Toa are oblivious to their surroundings XD Next time: Gali's Journal!**


	4. Gali's Journal

**You know you love me, even when I procrastinate and don't update. Holy crap, I just rhymed. That's CROOKED. That's so crooked, it's acute and obtuse at the same time.**

**And...I don't hate Tahu. I just imagine him being like that. He's fun to poke at, although nowhere NEAR as fun as Kopaka. Tahu's actually one of my favorite characters. It's Hakkan I don't like, pompous cowardly bastard -growls-**

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, yadda yadda yadda, neither do you, yadda yadda yadda, LEGO does, though, yadda yadda yadda, domo arigatou Mr. Roboto...**

**Journal Entries, Memoirs of the Watery One  
(aka Gali)**

_I think someone up there may just hate me._

_Lewa's Gukko bird died because she pecked down the door to the cabinet containing Tahu's knife collection...I TOLD him not to leave them there, but did he listen?! NOOOOO, of course not. Why listen to Gali, who's supposed to be the wisest out of us all?! Because that would be being SMART, that's what!_

_Anyway, I made stew out of the dead Gukko. It saved me from hunting, and it was convenient. I just wasn't in the mood to do anything else. Ai._

X x X

Pohatu sighed. "This is the third time we've heard this story, Onua..."

Onua rolled his eyes. "Motmyault."

Onua-translatinator-device: "Not my fault."

X x X

_I._

_Hate._

_BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_My diary, you have no idea how bad today was. Lewa found out about his Gukko bird, and started throwing fruit at Tahu because of it. Knowing Lewa, his aim was of COURSE off, and more than half of it hit ME instead!_

_My punishment for them?_

_I MADE THEM WEAR DRESSES._

_Lewa's stupid pick up line didn't work, so HA!_

X x X

Pohatu's left eye twitched. "Well, whaddaya know. Seems as if our little miss has an inner dominant."

Onua laughed, but this time, no obscene fluids came from his mouth.

X x X

_OK...so today I had quite a good laugh. Kopaka asked me what I look for in a guy, and I said vital organs. If I look inside you, you better have your liver!_

_Haha, I love my life._

X x X

"...what the hell?"

"Word."

X x X

_Today was surprisingly fun, even though I had to repair one of the buildings that got totaled in the recent tidal wave with Tahu and Kopaka._

_We just started out with our usual bickering, with them arguing over how to drive a nail into a steel beam (idiots...) and me just doing my own thing and getting more work done than either of them combined. After a while, Kopaka went off to the other end of the building to get a steel beam, and I remembered something I had wanted to show Tahu._

_So I pulled it out, and he started laughing. The book's title was "The Life and Times of Toa Vakama". I wonder what Turaga Vakama would say if he knew his fangirls from when he was still a Toa had actually put a book together._

_Anyway, me and Tahu started going over it and laughing. Then Kopaka came back and asked what we were doing. He looked pretty peeved about it, too. I was still laughing too hard to respond, but Tahu wasn't, I guess. He immediately set off telling Kopaka that we were reading a book about ancient symbols. When Kopaka told him he was full of it, Tahu said that it really WAS about ancient symbols, and that the picture with Vakama hanging upside down with a Great Disk in his mouth meant "H"._

_I laughed so hard I think I must've busted a rib or something._

_Kopaka, of course, was not amused, especially when Tahu asked if he was Ko-Matoran or Ko-Metruan. Even I have to admit though, it was funny._

X x X

The Toa of Stone grinned. "Poor Gali...at least she managed to have fun, though."

Onua rolled his eyes. "She'sh got problemsh."

"Hey, you can almost talk again!"

X x X

_Do I really look like a Kavinika when I'm angry? That's what Lewa said today when I was yelling at him for breaking down the door to my hut._

_Huh. If so, then GOOD!_

X x X

"She really DOES look like a Kavinika when she's pissed...freaking scary as hell, and I cannot lie."

"Really? She'sh never been mad at me, sho I really can't form any opinionsh."

"Dude, you have no idea. It's so bad sometimes that I get the urge to...well, you know."

"...beautiful."

"I know, isn't it?"

X x X

_Kolhii Fear was a surprisingly good movie, I have to say._

"HA!" Pohatu shouted, pointing at Onua dramatically. "SHE SAID IT WAS GOOD!"

_Tahu took me to see it, and Kopaka came along because he was bored. I just wish they hadn't held on to me so hard. My arms STILL hurt._

_Hewkii did a really good job, though, and so did Macku. I'm really proud of both of them._

_But now I'm about to pass out from lack of sleep, so good night._

X x X

The Toa of Stone was very smug after this entry.

The Toa of Earth was not amused.

X x X

_Is this what I get for taking a nap when the boys are around?_

_I fell asleep after our meeting at the beach today, and apparently I missed some very important happenings._

_When I woke up, Kopaka was rolling around on the ground, his rear end on fire, Onua was dusting his hands off, Tahu was laughing, Pohatu was humming some weird song, Lewa was lying some ten feet away in the bushes, and Takanuva was nowhere to be seen._

_WHAT HAPPENED?!_

X x X

Pohatu laughed. "Good times, bro. Good times."

"You weren't the one Lewa wash challenging to a duel. He may not look it, but he'sh shtrong."

"Eh, I know. I had a hard time moving my body without my ribs hurting that one time, remember?"

X x X

_Barely any time to write. Barricaded in my hut._

_GAH!_

X x X

Onua blinked. "What wash that? What'sh she so worked up about?"

Pohatu groaned. "You'll see. If it weren't so funny, I'd feel sorry for her."

X x X

_Alright, my diary, you're probably wondering what that was about, right? Well, it seems I have...well, I've acquired a fan club._

_Consisting of nearly an eighth of every Metru._

_Takanuva has it worse than I do, though. Practically my entire Metru is convinced they're going to be the one he falls in love with. I wonder what Nixie has to say about that?_

X x X

"Gali hash a fan club?"

"We all do. Dear old Takanuva has it the worse though, after Kopaka."

"Why didn't Kopaka shay anything then?"

"You think he knows? His head's shoved too far up in the clouds to realize something as trivial as a fanclub dedicated to him and only him. The day he notices it will be the day Nuju and Whenua stop arguing over the past and the future."

"Ah."

X x X

_YAWN! I'm so tired...but the dance was great!_

_Heh, I danced with all six of my teammates. And some Matoran kids. They're so cute, I'd LOVE to have one someday. Huh, but that would mean I'd have to get married. I wouldn't mind, but...imagine those headlines._

"_Toa Gali has chosen -insert random male Toa here- as her husband, and they will marry and bear children within the year!"_

_Not going to happen._

_Tahu's cute though. Very cute._

_Apparently he lost a bet to Kopaka last night at the dance as well, but got out of paying for it. Something about a green Mahiki._

_And I have decided that Kopaka is an idiot. Yesterday, on a dare from Tahu, I told him I was skin and bones, so he poked me in the stomach._

_Was he calling me fat? I THINK SO! Bastard...Huff! My revenge was sweet though, because I pushed him in the swamp this morning, and he didn't have time to get all the way clean before the dance. Heh._

_OK, I've gotta go now...my bed is calling._

X x X

"Awh, that's the last entry!" Pohatu wailed, throwing down the journal and doing a dramatic gesture one would see in a cheesy drama movie.

Onua laughed. "Now that I can talk normally again, I'd have to say we'd better put these two back before their owners begin to suspect anything."

"Nah, we still got time. They'll probably think Lewa did it or something..."

"Yeah, I guess you're right...so, who's next?"

"Who else is left?"

"Lewa and Takanuva...and us, but we're always together anyway, so that'd be pointless, wouldn't you say?"

"Yeah. Let's do Takanuva's last, he's bound to have good stuff in there."

"Lewa next, then?"

"Yep."

X x X

**AN: Heh...sorry for the craptastic chapter and the long wait, guys...**

**Gali's kind of hard for me to characterize, though...she's completely different from me. The only thing we really have in common is that we both wear a lot of blue, and that we're both girls. And that's about it, ladies****and germs.**

**Next time: More journals go missing! GIGAGASP!**

**Reviews?**


	5. Best Disguise EVER

**Ummm...hey! -mailbox'd- 0o**

**Best Disguise EVER.**

To infiltrate a Toa of Air's hut takes a certain amount of class, style, and flair that most Earth and Stone Toa seem to lack. Yes, the Air Toa are onto EVERYTHING in their domain, and it's exceedingly hard to get past their amazingly high senses.

Plan A.

Utilize Kakama, run into the hut, have Onua glomp Lewa on the leg to immobilize him, and grab diary. After detaching Onua from said leg, run like the wind!

No.

Plan B.

Ask for the diary, nice and easy.

No, that won't work either.

Plan C.

Use the best disguise EVER and infiltrate said hut!

YES.

OH YES. That'll work.

Lewa is an Air Toa, making it hard to get past him. Not while he's sleeping, though. And when Lewa sleeps, he SLEEPS.

A nuclear explosion couldn't wake him.

And so, strangely unnoticed by everyone, a square rock-box scuttled through the village. It even had two eye holes in front.

Yes, unknown to the Le-Matoran, an unsuspicious square rock followed behind...your average walking square rock with 2 pairs of feet running in different directions while bumping into several random objects. Coming out of the typical rock were the voices of two Toa fighting for the front section.

"ONUA! MOVE OUTTA THE WAY!"

"HEY! I CAME UP WITH THIS PLAN!"

Ooh! There's Lewa's hut! TO GLORIOUS DIARY STEALING WE GO!

"WAGH!"

Or not.

"Crap...get off of me..."

"Sorry."

This STILL went unnoticed by the Le-Matoran, however.

And, underneath this beautiful disguise of impending doom, Pohatu and Onua had on the OTHER best disguise ever.

You know, those funky glasses with mustaches and hairy noses.

Yes, THOSE glasses.

They were virtually INVISIBLE.

And so, when Lewa's diary went missing, he was none the wiser.

Idiot.


End file.
